A true Christian visits the church to seek forgiveness for a grieveous sin. Father Ebenezer sits at the confession booth. The true Christian confesses: "Father, I have raped a woman. Please forgive me."
"The father, son, and the holy ghost hath forgiven you," replies Fr. Ebenezer.
"Can I still go to heaven Father?"
"Certainly son, Jesus has forgiven you."
The true Christian is still apprehensive that a rapist could go to heaven. So, Fr. Ebenezer assuages his doubt:
"I will reveal a secret from the Bible to you. A good Christian who never rapes a woman would be taken to heaven by 10 angels in a jet. He would reach heaven within 10 days of dying. A good Christian who just rapes once has to self-drive a Ferrari to reach heaven in 100 days post mortem. A good Christian who rapes up to 10 women has to ride an old bicycle to heaven and it takes 100 years to get there. A good Christian who rapes up to 100 women would have to walk to heaven post mortem and it takes 2,000 years to get there. A non-Christian can never go to heaven no matter how moral a life he leads."
The good Christian is consoled and lives the rest of his life without committing an additional rape. He dies and drives his Ferrari to heaven. On the way, he sees many who ride bicycles. He curses them for having raped up to 10 women. All of a sudden, an old man on a bicycle trips and falls in front of the Ferrari. The good Christian stops just in time and rushes to the old man. He recognizes the old man.
"Oh my god! Aren't you Fr. Ebenezer? Did you rape up to 10 women?" he asks angrily.
Fr. Ebenezer replies calmly, "Be not angry son. Drive a little further. You will find Jesus Christ walking slowly to heaven."
(This post is a translation of a joke an FB friend had sent.)
